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Illustration by Catherine Soule. Come on, you know you've tried it. If you have a penis, a mouth, 15 spare minutes, and even an iota of curiosity, you've tried to see just how close you can get your face to that pesky little pecker you carry around in your pants.

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Trump's new communications director attacks Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, and other top White House aids in profanity-laced, on-the-record rant to journalist. In a profanity-laced and on-the-record conversation with New Yorker political reporter Ryan Lizza, President Donald Trump's White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci—who took the job less than a week ago—attacked senior White House advisor Steven Bannon, Trump's chief of staff Reince Priebus, and other unnamed officials saying he would "fire all of them" if the journalist did not divulge the person who leaked recent information from the White House. I'm not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President.

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Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

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Today, the Mooch truly became the Trump administration's communications director. He formally joined earlier in the week, but today Anthony Scaramucci really arrived : In a remarkable interview with The New Yorker 's Ryan Lizza, the Mooch ranted about White House leakers, shivved a couple of colleagues, and dove into a level of vulgarity that, like so much about this administration, is surely unprecedented from a White House official in an on-the-record interview. Below is a collection of his very best one-liners, courtesy of the Goodfellas character who has begun Season Two of our national reality show in hot pursuit of the White House rat.

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Sign in. Watch now. Julian, Ricky and Bubbles each have new moneymaking schemes, Jim Lahey is on the verge of retiring and Randy has a new assistant, Don.

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